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Your Adoption Journey

Starr's Story

Hi to all adoptees,
     I was very mistreated by the woman I thought was my mother my whole young life. I started running away from home, using drugs and drinking at age 11. My father was rarely home due to his job demanding a lot of travel . I always knew I looked different from my 2 older sisters who are blue eyed, blond hair while I have dark hazel eyes and brown hair. My sisters (they are 5 & 19 years older than me) used to tell me that I was the milk man's daughter. I got married at 17 had my first child at 18. I could not deal with relationships for very long so I left my first husband and moved from Oregon to Chicago with my daughter, her dad came to Chicago and took her to live in Oregon, I was out of control, drugs, prostitution you name it I did it. I was married 3 more times and had 4 more children. I moved back to Oregon through all of this and started to get my life together. A relative slipped while talking on the phone and said my biological mom was a woman my dad messed around with while his wife was in a TB sanitarium. My adoptive mom was released from the sanitarium and my dad told her about my biological mom, I can only imagine her anger but for some reason she agreed to pretend she was pregnant, took a trip to Europe and when she returned I had been born. From what I have been told my dad made a deal with my biological mom to pay her $500 a month for life if she never said anything to anyone, not much money by today's standards but in 1960 it was a big help. Long story made short I went to counseling after my relative told me the truth. I was tripping, my whole reality was fake and I had not a clue what to do. After about 18 months with a counselor and meeting other people that had been adopted, discovering who my biological mom was and that she lived in Chicago, she had 2 more kids(boys) with my dad but she kept them.  I finally just decided I was an individual like every human. I feel whole and healed. I made a trip to Chicago about 6 years ago to visit my biological mom and siblings. It was interesting. Now I am glad I was raised by my dad and his wife because my biological family is more messed up. My view on life is to give back to the world and other people, so I went on to adopt a new born boy 7 &1/2 years ago , I know both of his parents but we are his forever family and love him the same as my 5 biological kids!! Amazing how the world goes round huh? I don't lie to my little man, he has been able to spend some time visiting his biological family and he seems cool with it all for now, I guess we just take it 1 day at a time.

Peace Out----Starr

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